How to Manage Conflicting Needs When Negotiating A Separation Agreement?

9th Jul 2020 Oxford Partners Blog

Divorce and marriage separation proceedings can be a confusing and frustrating time for families of all sizes. With many financial and property matters to be settled alongside spousal maintenance and child maintenance arrangements, there are guaranteed to be a wide range of negotiations that must take place prior to your divorce or separation being formally finalised. Agreements may also be subject to change as your circumstances change, resulting in adjustments and renegotiating joint agreements in the future. With all the details that must be accounted for across both parties, it’s only natural for conflicts and disagreements to occur during negotiations for separation or divorce arrangements. The best way to formalise your arrangements is through a marriage separation agreement – and there are multiple things to consider when drafting this document. When it comes to conflicts surrounding divorce or separation agreement negotiations, family dispute resolution (or family mediation) is often the best way to resolve these. Today, our Family Lawyers here at Oxford Partners will be sharing their insights on all the considerations that must be taken into account when negotiating a divorce or separation agreement.

What arrangements need to be made during a separation?

A marriage separation agreement can cover many arrangements relating to the breakdown of a relationship, which will often require a significant amount of negotiation. Primary considerations that must be made during negotiations for separation agreements include:

Formalisation of separation (while this may seem obvious, in many cases it’s important to have a legal record of the intent and date of separation)
Arrangements for living apart (it’s possible to separate while still living together, but if you and your partner wish to live separately you can formalise this agreement in the document)
Financial agreements including bank accounts and spousal maintenance
Handling of assets
Parenting and child support arrangements

The most common areas of disagreement tend to be childcare and property sharing, so it’s important to have clear formalised arrangements regarding these.

Should I seek legal advice in the leadup to separation proceedings?

If there are disagreements about post-separation arrangements (and even if there aren’t), it’s often advised that you seek out legal advice for a few key reasons. An experienced Family Lawyer can act as a neutral mediator when drafting a marriage separation agreement. By going through this channel you can also (if necessary) avoid negotiating directly with your partner if there is conflict or family violence. Utilising a licensed Family Lawyer to facilitate your family mediation sessions can help ensure that both parties stay fully aware of their own legal entitlements and requirements, and can formalise any agreements made with the utmost confidence and access to mutual, unbiased support.

Why negotiate when preparing a separation agreement?

Often, family dispute resolution is a necessary step in the legal process so it’s a good idea to go to a lawyer first before going through a potentially lengthy, stressful, and expensive court battle. If negotiation does fail you can apply for orders relating to financial and childcare matters. A failure in negotiations may cause you to end up with arrangements that don’t work for you, or that don’t accurately reflect all the circumstances of your situation. Keep in mind also that most family law applications end up being resolved without reaching the final court hearing. Generally it is in your interest to resolve disagreements outside of court.

What will negotiation during separation proceedings involve?

When approaching marriage separation agreement negotiation, there are often conflicting needs which can be difficult to resolve. In Family Dispute Resolution, a mediator can help to guide the negotiations in the following ways:

Identifying each individual matter to negotiate
Keeping clear goals
Staying focussed in discussions
Encouraging participants to listen to each others’ points of view
Negotiating acceptable compromises
If there are children involved, keeping focussed on their needs and welfare

Family dispute resolution and separation negotiations can take multiple forms, depending on the needs of both parties as well as their families. If face-to-face negotiation is impossible or unproductive there are other means such as communicating via letters, or negotiating in separate rooms (shuttle mediation). Additionally, allowances can be made for involving children in the process if this is deemed to be necessary.

Key considerations to make when negotiating a separation agreement

In this understandably busy and stressful time, there are several things to keep at the forefront of your mind. Firstly, in negotiating a marriage separation agreement, it’s very important that all disclosures, particularly in relation to finances, are done with complete honesty. A fair and accurate agreement can’t be made without all the facts, and if any party does not make a complete disclosure this can negatively impact them later. It’s also important to keep in mind that the finished and signed separation agreement can be legally enforceable. Often a source of conflicts within separation negotiations is because one partner is coming to terms with the separation at a different pace, which can lead to differing expectations and needs. Another important factor in managing disputes can be reaching out for support from friends and family, and seeking professional counselling. This can assist in making negotiations smoother, and allowing ongoing communication.

Negotiate with confidence during separation proceedings with support from our team at Oxford Partners Lawyers

There can be many instances where parties maintain conflicting needs when it comes to negotiating a separation agreement. Thankfully, however, there are many options available for overcoming the common conflicts that may arise during your separation negotiations. Some of these measures include seeking a neutral mediator, utilising alternative mediation options, and being informed of all your legal entitlements. With clear, calm negotiating, you can seek the best outcome for your separation agreement. If you’d like to secure family mediation services with our team of Melbourne Family Lawyers at Oxford Partners Lawyers, don’t hesitate to contact us via our website or by phoning our offices directly at (03) 9670 7577. Book a free preliminary 30 minute consultation with a member of our legal team today to ensure you have all the information you need in anticipation of your separation agreement negotiations.

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