Today, we look at the do’s and don’ts of mediation, in a bid to help you better prepare yourself for the most successful outcome possible. Read on to find out more.

The Do’s & Don’ts of Mediation

Do: Show Up For Your Appointment

Mediation can only occur when both parties are present for a meeting or appointment in the presence of one or more impartial, trained and nationally accredited mediator(s). It is vital that both parties are present at the meeting in order to reach a mutual resolution in any event. If logistics are a problem, you can use video-conferencing or teleconferencing, although we believe that they are not as effective as being physically present.

Don’t: Force The Other Party To Attend Mediation 

It is important to remember that mediation is a voluntary process. If the other party does not wish to attend mediation, it is not possible to compel him or her to attend.

Do: Have An Open Mind 

Unfortunately, mediation will not be successful if you are not prepared to compromise. A great tip is to write down what your ideal scenario is walking into mediation, followed by another one or two alternative options. These options may involve compromises you are willing to make in order to reach an agreement with the other party. 

Don’t: Lead With Aggression or Insults

The truth of the matter is that life is not perfect, and you may very well have your own personal problems or issues with the other party you are dealing with. However, it is important that you avoid leading with aggression or insults during your mediation. Avoid hostile, demeaning, or humiliating words during your exchange that may seriously impede reaching a mutually beneficial agreement. 

Do: Come Prepared For Your Meeting 

Mediation involves working through the differences of opinion about a dispute, and various supporting documents can be invaluable in achieving that goal. As such, it is vital that both parties come prepared for the meeting, equipped with any necessary documentation or information that may prove beneficial to the outcome. Additionally, you are encouraged to think about what you want to achieve from the mediation. For example, it might be important to you to:

• Get a financial settlement;
• Come up with a parenting plan;
• Receive and apology; or
• Sort out the dispute so you can move on.

Don’t: Expect Your Mediator To Come Up With Solutions

It is important to remember that the role of a mediator is to manage the process of the mediation and assist both parties to reach an agreement. Mediators do not come up with solutions or offer judgement about the way in which a dispute should be resolved.

Do: Prioritise Open Communication

Clear and effective communication is key in achieving a successful outcome in mediation. It is important that you do your best to think about how you would like to be spoken to and let that guide how you speak to the other party involved. Prior to mediation, come up with ways to handle your emotions if you feel yourself getting frustrated or overwhelmed. Some helpful suggestions include taking a break or addressing how you are feeling to the mediator and the other party in a civil and calm way. 

Don’t: Fail To Consider The Other Party

You know what the key issues are for yourself, but what about the other party? We recommend writing down what you think their key issues or concerns are and why these issues may be important to them. It is important to try and understand what the other party wants so you can see where you may be able to reach an agreement. 

Do: Get Advice From A Family Law Expert

Family law is a complex area of law and is one that requires someone with a wealth of experience. As such, it is important that you get the advice of a qualified lawyer as early as possible, even before you plan on attending mediation. Contacting us as soon as possible will ensure that property settlement issues and asset division during separation is dealt with proactively.

Don’t: Refuse To Respond To An Offer Or Demand

The mediation process is highly dependent on give-and-take. Even if you feel that an offer or demand is unfair, it is important that you offer a response even if that is in the form of a nominal compromise. A refusal to negotiate at all may end the process prematurely. 

Do: Be Patient

Patience is absolutely vital during mediation. Parties in a dispute often believe they are right and as such may have unrealistic expectations. It is important for parties in mediation to allow time for changes to occur. Of all the rules for successful mediation, this is one of the most important. 

Don’t: Try To Rush Mediation 

In some cases, there is absolutely no way a case may be settled within the time constraints of a single mediation session. It is all too common that, out of frustration, the parties reject a mediator’s invitation to reconvene for a joint session. Additional meetings are often very helpful in overcoming disagreements or impasses, so be sure to remain patient and open-minded to future mediation sessions. 

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Family law disputes are never easy. Hopefully, by following this mediation do’s and don’ts, you will be able to minimise undue stress, worry, and tensions. 

For more information and tips on the mediation process, do not hesitate to contact one of our expert family lawyers today. 

In order to ensure that you get the most out of your mediation session, it is important to prepare yourself for what lies ahead of you. In today’s article, we have a look at 5 tips that will help you better prepare yourself for family mediation, so read on to find out more.

Bring All Necessary Notes and Documents

Bringing notes or documents that you think may be helpful to your family mediation session is always encouraged. Your notes may consist of the key points that you would like to discuss with your ex-partner, along with notes on what you would like to achieve at the end of the session. Preparing your notes days or even weeks in advance is an important step that we always recommend our clients do in order to ensure that they are well prepared for mediation and able to address as many topics of disagreement as possible.

Make Time For Your Mediation Session

In an ideal world, mediation would be over in 30 minutes and everyone would go home happy. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. Mediation sessions can take several hours, and although one session is usually enough for most couples to resolve their issues, others may require a second or even third session if they are unable to come up with a mutual agreement in their initial session. Be sure to book your mediation session on a day where you do not have any other commitments so that you can be 100% present and not distracted by the clock.

Enter With An Open Mind

One of the most important things to take to heart when preparing for mediation is to enter negotiations with an open mind. Mediation will not work if you are completely unwilling to compromise with your ex-partner, which is why we always advise clients to come up with a list of options that they are willing to negotiate on prior to your mediation session. These options should include compromises that you are willing to make in order to reach a mutual agreement, and should be as fair as possible for all parties involved.

Make An Effort To Listen

When it comes to mediation, giving your ex-partner space and time to discuss their opinions and feelings is paramount. Communication is the biggest tool that you can utilise for successful mediation, and respecting one another by truly listening is key. It goes without saying that you are likely to disagree with some of the things that your ex-partner says, but by really listening to their point of view without any judgement or preconceived notions, you will be better able to understand where they are coming from.

Regulate Your Emotions

Separation and divorce can be incredibly emotionally charged experiences for everyone involved. This is why we advise that you come up with ways to handle your emotions, whether they be positive or negative ones, prior to your mediation session. If you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated during the mediation process, remember that you can simply ask your mediator for a short break before resuming discussions. This will allow you to gather your thoughts and emotions in a healthy way and can help avoid any arguments from erupting.

A Final Note

It is important to remember that mediation is never about winning — it is about coming to a mutual agreement that works in the best interests of everyone involved. For mediation to be successful, it is important that you come prepared, with an open mind and willing to come to a compromise with your ex-partner.

If you want to learn more about how mediation can help parties to reach agreements on financial, parenting and property disputes without having to go to the Family Court, do not hesitate to contact us at (03) 9670 7577 today.

What Is The Legal Definition of a De-Facto Relationship?

The official definition of a de-facto relationship for the purposes of the Family Law Act are as follows: A couple that is  not married to each other; are not related by family; but are living together as a couple on a genuine domestic basis. This definition may seem plain and simple upon first glance, but do not be tricked by its short and concise description. In order to meet all the requirements of a de-facto relationship, many factors are taken into consideration, including:

      –     The existence of a sexual relationship

• The nature and extent of any existing common residence
• Public aspects and reputation of the relationship
• Financial dependence and support between the parties
• Mutual commitment to a shared life displayed by both parties
• Care and support of any children
• Nature of the household 
• Future plans and aspirations as a couple 

It is important to know that no singular factor is given more weight than another when the court decides on whether to grant a de-facto status to a couple. Some other factors that can also come into play depending on individual situations include:

      –     Messages, communication and any type of love letters between the parties

• Statutory declarations from friends and family about the relationship
• Photos of the couple at public events and on social media
• Shared bank account statements
• Whether a person is listed as a spouse on the party’s tax return/Centrelink

Registration of Domestic Relationship

Registered domestic relationships are another way to legally obtain a “de-facto” status and can be very helpful in situations where both parties have been in a de-facto relationship for under the 12 month requirement. 

You can apply to register a domestic relationship in Victoria if you are a couple and are both above the age of 18. It is important to note that at least one of the parties will need to reside in Victoria at the time of application. You cannot be married to one another and you must also agree to provide domestic, financial and emotional support to each other. 

Evidence of a De-Facto Relationship

In order to be granted “de-facto” status, couples will have to provide a wide array of evidence to the courts that prove the domestic, financial and emotional support towards one another. 

Evidence for Nature of The Household include:

• The usual occupants in the house and the relationships between them.
• The set up of the home, including a shared bedroom, common area and study area.
• How the household chores are shared – who does the cooking and cleaning? 

Evidence for Financial Aspects include

• Both names listen on a lease/mortgage agreements
• Both names on utility bills such as water, electricity, internet and gas 
• Whether one or both parties are providing financial support to the other, directly or indirectly Claiming dependence on issues concerning taxation, health, insurance, welfare or other purposes
• Joint ownership of major assets.
• Joint liabilities such as mortgage or loans
• One party being nominated as a beneficiary of a will, life insurance policy, superannuation payment or compensation payment
• Evidence of shared bank accounts

Evidence for the Nature of Commitment include:

• If the couple have a mutual commitment to the relationship
• Evidence of emotional support provided to each other, including care provided  in times of physical illness or personal crisis. 
• Long term plans, goals and aspirations as a couple 
• Whether the people involved consider that the relationship is likely to continue indefinitely.
• Personal statements made by both parties on the overall nature of commitment. 

When To Seek Legal Aid 

While married couples simply need to show a marriage certificate to prove the existence and length of their union, de-facto couples often struggle to gather the evidence necessary to make a compelling claim for their relationship. In such instances, it is always recommended that you seek the advice and services of an experienced legal team. 

Working alongside a lawyer will help you ensure that you meet the relationship criteria prior to making your application and to ensure that you are able to provide enough evidence for the Courts to make a declaration of your de-facto relationship. 

Call us at 03 9670 7577 today and one of our expert family lawyers will be happy to assist! 

Agreements may also be subject to change as your circumstances change, resulting in adjustments and renegotiating joint agreements in the future. With all the details that must be accounted for across both parties, it’s only natural for conflicts and disagreements to occur during negotiations for separation or divorce arrangements.

The best way to formalise your arrangements is through a marriage separation agreement – and there are multiple things to consider when drafting this document. When it comes to conflicts surrounding divorce or separation agreement negotiations, family dispute resolution (or family mediation) is often the best way to resolve these.

Today, our Family Lawyers here at Oxford Partners will be sharing their insights on all the considerations that must be taken into account when negotiating a divorce or separation agreement.

What arrangements need to be made during a separation?

A marriage separation agreement can cover many arrangements relating to the breakdown of a relationship, which will often require a significant amount of negotiation. Primary considerations that must be made during negotiations for separation agreements include:

• Formalisation of separation (while this may seem obvious, in many cases it’s important to have a legal record of the intent and date of separation)
• Arrangements for living apart (it’s possible to separate while still living together, but if you and your partner wish to live separately you can formalise this agreement in the document)
• Financial agreements including bank accounts and spousal maintenance
• Handling of assets
• Parenting and child support arrangements

The most common areas of disagreement tend to be childcare and property sharing, so it’s important to have clear formalised arrangements regarding these.

Should I seek legal advice in the leadup to separation proceedings?

If there are disagreements about post-separation arrangements (and even if there aren’t), it’s often advised that you seek out legal advice for a few key reasons. An experienced Family Lawyer can act as a neutral mediator when drafting a marriage separation agreement. By going through this channel you can also (if necessary) avoid negotiating directly with your partner if there is conflict or family violence. 

Utilising a licensed Family Lawyer to facilitate your family mediation sessions can help ensure that both parties stay fully aware of their own legal entitlements and requirements, and can formalise any agreements made with the utmost confidence and access to mutual, unbiased support.

Why negotiate when preparing a separation agreement?

Often, family dispute resolution is a necessary step in the legal process so it’s a good idea to go to a lawyer first before going through a potentially lengthy, stressful, and expensive court battle. If negotiation does fail you can apply for orders relating to financial and childcare matters. A failure in negotiations may cause you to end up with arrangements that don’t work for you, or that don’t accurately reflect all the circumstances of your situation. Keep in mind also that most family law applications end up being resolved without reaching the final court hearing. Generally it is in your interest to resolve disagreements outside of court.

What will negotiation during separation proceedings involve?

When approaching marriage separation agreement negotiation, there are often conflicting needs which can be difficult to resolve. In Family Dispute Resolution, a mediator can help to guide the negotiations in the following ways:

• Identifying each individual matter to negotiate
• Keeping clear goals
• Staying focussed in discussions
• Encouraging participants to listen to each others’ points of view
• Negotiating acceptable compromises
• If there are children involved, keeping focussed on their needs and welfare

Family dispute resolution and separation negotiations can take multiple forms, depending on the needs of both parties as well as their families. If face-to-face negotiation is impossible or unproductive there are other means such as communicating via letters, or negotiating in separate rooms (shuttle mediation). Additionally, allowances can be made for involving children in the process if this is deemed to be necessary.

Key considerations to make when negotiating a separation agreement

In this understandably busy and stressful time, there are several things to keep at the forefront of your mind. Firstly, in negotiating a marriage separation agreement, it’s very important that all disclosures, particularly in relation to finances, are done with complete honesty. A fair and accurate agreement can’t be made without all the facts, and if any party does not make a complete disclosure this can negatively impact them later.  

It’s also important to keep in mind that the finished and signed separation agreement can be legally enforceable. Often a source of conflicts within separation negotiations is because one partner is coming to terms with the separation at a different pace, which can lead to differing expectations and needs. 

Another important factor in managing disputes can be reaching out for support from friends and family, and seeking professional counselling. This can assist in making negotiations smoother, and allowing ongoing communication. 

Negotiate with confidence during separation proceedings with support from our team at Oxford Partners Lawyers

There can be many instances where parties maintain conflicting needs when it comes to negotiating a separation agreement. Thankfully, however, there are many options available for overcoming the common conflicts that may arise during your separation negotiations. Some of these measures include seeking a neutral mediator, utilising alternative mediation options, and being informed of all your legal entitlements. With clear, calm negotiating, you can seek the best outcome for your separation agreement.

If you’d like to secure family mediation services with our team of Melbourne Family Lawyers at Oxford Partners Lawyers, don’t hesitate to contact us via our website or by phoning our offices directly at (03) 9670 7577. Book a free preliminary 30 minute consultation with a member of our legal team today to ensure you have all the information you need in anticipation of your separation agreement negotiations. 

Why go through family law mediation?

Even when all parties are in agreement, in complex legal matters such as the care of children and the handling of finances, it’s a good idea to seek the advice of a Family Law lawyer. A family lawyer can help you to understand your legal obligations and options, explain the law that applies to your individual case, and can help you to formalise the agreements made.

A family mediator will:

• Identify issues to be solved
• Keep the discussion focused, calm, and rational
• Prioritise the wellbeing of children involved
• Facilitate a supportive environment
• Ensure that all parties understand the agreements made

Usually, mediation can be adjusted to your circumstances. Whether there are children involved who need to be a part of the discussion, multiple parties, or if ‘shuttle mediation’ (mediation without the parties being brought together) is required, the discussion can be adjusted to your needs.

An added benefit of going through a professional is that matters will stay confidential (with a few exceptions). Additionally, family mediation avoids a potentially expensive and stressful trial. In many cases (and especially in regards to children) courts require families to go through formal mediation before going to court.

Children

In matters of parenting arrangements, it’s not possible to go directly to court (save for a few exceptions including cases of family violence), making family mediation a crucial step in the process.

In family mediation regarding children and parenting, the main focus will be on developing a parenting plan. This plan will be adaptable to the child(ren)’s specific circumstances including accommodation, expenses, daily care and schooling. The parenting plan must be agreed to in writing by all parties involved (apart from the child), but is not a legally enforceable document.

If the mediation process is unsuccessful and an agreement cannot be made, you will need a section 601 certificate to prove that mediation was attempted, before applying to the court for parenting orders.

Finances

Family law mediation can also be used to settle issues of finances, property, and spousal maintenance. Settling these matters in mediation not only saves you the expense of going to court, but allows you to make your own decisions and can ensure successful ongoing communication. 

Through the process of mediation, a financial agreement can be drawn up to cover settlement and support. This is a legally binding document signed by both parties (both parties must have also received independent legal and financial advice beforehand).

If an arrangement can’t be agreed to in mediation, you will need to apply to the court for financial orders.

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Negotiating matters in a family dispute context is most successful with clear communication, a focus on the matters at hand, and a view to reaching the best outcomes for all involved. To avoid going to court and expending unnecessary time, energy, and money, family law mediation with an experienced legal professional, is an option to resolve your case. 

What Is Family Mediation?

Family mediation forms part of the Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) processes that are available to disputing individuals. In its simplest form, family mediation is where an independent third party, known as the mediator, encourages discussion between the two disputing parties in order for them to reach an agreement that is mutually accepted.  

In family-based scenarios, specifically marital relationships, the mediator can help you work out arrangements relating to issues such as:

• Parenting arrangements for your children (if there are any) post your breakup
• Arrangements for children to stay in touch with their extended families such as grandparents, cousins and aunties/uncles 
• Child support payments
• Other financial and property arrangements (home, savings, superannuation, debts, vehicles)

Additionally, the family mediation process can help parties stay in control of the situation and only agree on a decision when they are both satisfied. The mediator will explain how the decision agreed upon can be made legally binding.

If you have a previous decision in place, this can also be the time to make adjustments where needed, particularly where children have grown up.

Advantages Of Mediation

• Cost-Effective

If you can resolve your dispute through the family mediation process, then the costs associated with litigation can be avoided.

• Confidential

The family mediation process is private and confidential. This means the judge is not informed of the substance of the conversations and if the case does go to trial, it can generally not be used against you. However, it is in your best interest to discuss this confidentiality with your lawyer.

• Provides Satisfaction To Parties Involved

Since parties have decided to reach and agree on an outcome for their dispute, they are more likely to be satisfied with the results. In comparison, when parties go to court, a decision is made on their behalf. This may leave one or both parties feeling dissatisfied and less likely to comply with the terms that have been outlined. 

Role Of Lawyers

Although the family mediation process is a highly popular resolution, It is important to remember that it cannot substitute independent legal advice that a lawyer is able to provide you with. Lawyers can help you understand the law and give you advice relating to your legal status. Once an informal agreement has been drafted during the mediation process, each party’s respective lawyer will go through the agreement and draw it up in its final form to give it legal effect. If legal advice has not been sought before the mediation date, the agreement can contain a clause to only effect it once parties have obtained advice from a lawyer.

Family mediation is a popular process used in scenarios where there has been a breakdown in familial relationships. In order to promote healthy healing and compliance with agreements, it is crucial to seek independent legal advice in conjunction with the mediation process. 

If you’re looking for family mediation services, then why not get in touch with us for a free initial 30 minute consultation on (03) 9670 7577 or at admin@oxfordpartners.com.au for more information.

Also Read the Articles:

• Top Reasons to Consider Hiring a Family Law Solicitor
• How a Lawyer Can Support You Through a Separation
• Tips for Selecting the Best Family Lawyer
• Lawyer vs Solicitor vs Barrister: What Sets Them Apart?